Greek Cucumber Boats

Greek cucumber boats! Cool off and settle into a plate of savory summer fare with these tangy, juicy, and crunchy Mediterranean munchies. These Greek cucumber boats are vegan, low-calorie, low-carb, and crafted from nature and nature alone. Bring ’em to a tailgating party or an Independence Day potluck!

Greek Cucumber Boats (vegan, fit, and fresh)

• 2 large (6-inch) cucumbers, garden variety
• 5 oz (127g) extra-firm or firm tofu
• 1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice OR more vinegar
• 1/2 tablespoon (3g) nooch
• Willy-nilly spices: Basil, Herbs de Provence
• Salt and pepper, to taste
• 3 tablespoons sundried tomatoes (the bagged kind, not the ones canned in oil)
• 8 kalamata olives, pitted and sliced into teeny tiny bagels
• 1/4-1/2 cup (80g) black or red grapes, sliced into gumdrop-sized bites

1. For feta: Press water out of tofu, tuck into a plastic bag, and freeze overnight. If your sleep schedule is erratic, leave the tofu to rest for 12 hours. No need to disturb the soy’s slumber. The next day, thaw tofu in the microwave and tear off “cheese” chunks. Whisk the acidic liquids, nooch, and seasonings. Place tofu pieces in the feta flavoring and let them marinate for 1+ hours.
2. Build your boats: Cut off the rounded ends of the cucumber. Lay one cuke sideways like a bike handle and slice it in half. Have you seen the way Subway employees open their bread for the fillings? Yeah, do that. Now, you should have 4 green canoes.

   

3. With a melon baller or deep spoon, scoop out the seedy flesh. Save the innards for a different recipe.
4. Stuff your hollow fruits with the faux-ta cheese and olives.
5. Drape the sundried tomato strips crisscross over the half-filled boats.
6. Stick grape halves into empty spaces between tomatoes as if they were stepping stones on a path to enlightenment.
7. Go all flower girl (or boy) and throw chopped chives or ripped basil leaves over the plate of appetizers.

So, ya like green grub, huh? Here, have some Cheez-it kale chips.

Did you try ’em? Do you want to? Spread the word faster than hummus on crackers! Let’s bring Greek cucumber canoes into the world of well-known summer snacks.

Best Dishes,

The Hippie Happy Foodist™