Stories and Salads | Episode 1: Kupokian Zebet. This is where I can tell a tale and write a recipe in the same post! The salad will always relate to the story. I live a fairly mundane life now, but everyone has a few whacky rides to recount. Here is my chance to combine two forms of creative non-fiction: recipes and regaling. And maybe ranting. 

If you’re not interested in linguistics or stories, please scroll to the end! I get it. Sometimes you just want food, not fluff.

Language has always been my “thing.” That and string instruments. Many years ago in fifth grade, I and a few other classmates were assigned a “create a country” project. The details have dissolved but the core takeaway remains. The original name was Kupocia and the language was Kupocian (courtesy of an old friend,) but I changed it over the years. Long after the class passed and my peers moved on, I continued building the basis of what would eventually become a new, communicable language complete with grammar rules and a vast vocabulary. When I latch onto something, my grip never loosens. No toe-dipping, just a full dive. I have swam through many distinct obsessions in my life. Perhaps they were “hyper fixations,” to put it into neuro-divergent terms. Please be kind about that…

This was how I spent my free time as a fifth grader. Unlike my fellow artsy friends, homemade hieroglyphics never tickled my attention. They were too secret-code-like and symbol-related. I wanted a gorgeous-sounding speech to communicate freely and publicly with no chance of another bilingual understanding the babble. After language-making, I’d watch Charlie’s Angels. Or Columbo.  Or I Love Lucy.

Kupokian Run-down (before the salad)

While Kupokian will never be a real or recognized language, it is far from dead. The dialect is alive and well… to me. In my younger years, I further fleshed out the faux fandom. The island of Kupoka is divided into three main cities: Linyus, Ce Frela, and Gorad. The country’s biggest celebrity is Egcraer, a folk singer as tall as her namesake, which means “giraffe” in Kupokian. Speaking of, the latter is pronounced Koo-poke-ee-ehn (that last part is pronounced like “Ian.”)

Numbers 1-10: Amaptre, Colsib, Hersagh, Uelvar, Eifay, Shevieh, Finsi-Iej, Heptro, Vizcnet, Zigne.

Example Sentence: My birthday is December 10th = Kcen amep lanksen ryu zigne wej Diepson.

Yes and No: Tyl ptheyll mol

Now for the dish. This is Kupokian Zebet salad. Another popular dish is a celery-stuffed French toast dish. For protein, add edamame or chickpeas. But the nooch is enough for me! While I love food, I am not creative enough to craft a false piece of produce. So Kupoka’s natural flora is a simple mish-mash of my preferred plants.

Kupokian Zebet Salad

WHAT YOU’RE GONNA NEED:

• 1/2 bell pepper, any color but green (60g)
• 1 long, fat carrot (80g)
• 1/3 cup plain corn, thawed or fresh (45g)
• 6 large green pimento-stuffed olives (60g)
• 1/4 cup minced cilantro
• 1 tbsp lemon juice
• Just a dash of hot sauce (Frank’s is easiest)
• Spices to taste: smoked paprika, white pepper, cinnamon, and onion powder
• 2 tablespoons nutritional yeast

WHAT YOU’RE GONNA DO:

1. Chop the bell peppers and olives into pinky-nail-sized pieces. Roughly quarter the carrots.
2. Add all remaining ingredients except nooch to a bowl. Stir, coat with lemon juice and hot sauce, then top with nutritional yeast. You can shake it up and eat it straight with a fork or stuff it into a wrap, or toss it onto greens!

Do you speak another language? How did you/do you release your creativity?

Best Dishes,

The Hippie Happy Foodist™